“A new study found that Americans are exercising more than ever but still not losing much weight. That’s not good. In fact, it’s all I could think about on my jog to Dunkin’ Donuts.” — Jimmy Fallon.
Most jokes are based on some cliche, and this one definitely is, the cliche being the self-defeating belief that burning off a handful of calories (the jog) gives them permission to balance things out with a treat of some kind (the donut). Less amusing are the hard weight-loss truths: That the only way to seriously shed weight is to take in significantly fewer calories than you now do; and that, while exercise is essential to keeping weight off once you’ve lost it, it’s of only marginal benefit in the actual reduction of poundage.
“A worldwide survey shows that 1 in 10 people believe the world is going to end soon. A Chinese inventor has even designed a survival pod. He says it can hold 14 people comfortably, or roughly three Americans comfortably.” — Jimmy Kimmel.
“A new study has found that leafy greens are the leading cause of food poisoning. In other words, Americans have nothing to worry about.” — Conan O’Brien.
This is approximately the ninth or tenth of these “fat jokes” posts I’ve written, each of which contained from several to a dozen gags about how fat Americans now are, or how insanely unhealthy Americans eating preferences have become. That’s a lot of ridicule heaped on fat or overfed Americans. But the gags always get big laughs from a studio audience that is about 90 percent composed of Americans, two-thirds of whom are overweight. Of course, that might indicate that we are a mature society, able to laugh in acknowledgement of our own flaws or foibles. http://acnedisorder.isintofashion.com/antibiotics-and-chemotherapy.html
But my vote goes to an alternative theory, that when we hear jokes about the stupid or irrational behavior of Americans we automatically think “other Americans.” Probably the same Americans who elect the politicians we can’t stand, or watch those TV shows we find maddeningly annoying, or are brainlessly bad drivers. I suspect that when fat Americans hear jokes about fat Americans, the image that they laugh at is not of themselves, but of really really FAT Americans, defined as persons who, whatever they weigh, are measurably heavier than the laugher, however heavy the laugher might be.
That might explain a lot of unhealthy behavior that persists on the part of people who should know better. Those terrible health issues only happen to other smokers, or other heavy drinkers, or other pre-diabetics. To paraphrase the brilliant Pogo Possum, “We have met the enemy and fail to recognize that he is us.”
“An elementary school here in New York City has become the first school in the country to serve only vegetarian food. That’s right, a school is serving only vegetarian foods, like tofu. Now, when bullies say, “Give me your lunch money,” students are like, “Here, take it.” — Fallon.
Again, that’s more of a cliche than a joke, Jimmy, but thanks for promoting the notion that it’s actually better to be mugged than to eat vegetables. That will certainly be to the long-term benefit of any school kids who might be watching. In the meantime, we adults should take it as a reminder that, for the most part, kids learn to dislike certain kinds of food by observing grown-ups disliking certain kinds of food — sometimes, by making fun of it.
“Hostess Twinkies are coming back. Hostess has announced that the new Twinkies will have a longer shelf life. The CEO said, “Let me put it this way. Our goal is for Twinkies to outlast people who eat Twinkies.” — Conan O’Brien.
Twinkies have for years epitomized the phrase “junk food.” The word has become shorthand for food products so unhealthy you shouldn’t even look at them in supermarkets. A rational society would have cheered Twinkies’ demise. In the U.S., by contrast, when the end of Twinkies was announced whole multitudes went into absolute mourning. Many became itchy, or lost sleep. Armies of devotees ran right out and stocked up on the remaining Twinkies; the shelves were largely bare nationwide in mere hours. Conversely, when the product’s resurrection was announced, the media played the news like it was a cure for the common cold, and there was a kind of national sigh of relief.
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